MY IMMORTAL: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

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Re: MY IMMORTAL: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 8:49 pm

She was talking about "sexy British accents" earlier, so it's a safe bet that she's not British. I can't remember anyone in America calling cell phones "mobiles" outside of advertising, though.
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Postby Pocket (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:43 pm

I wish we did, though. It's a more general term that's a lot more approprate now that actually calling people is one of the least significant features that "phones" have.
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 9:46 pm

It's also the most invasive and taxing feature phones have. The goddamn I WANT TO TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW alarm :notthisshitagain:

Maybe we should stop expecting people to be available for conversation on demand
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 10:47 pm

Chapter 4 has this line.

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.


Color is spelled without the u.

Hot Topic is only in America, too, IIRC.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sun Nov 01, 2015 2:14 am

Image

in making increasingly insane typos for the chapter headers, I think I begin to understand how Tara makes some of the spelling mistakes she does. She just lets her fingers go where the fuck ever they want and does not give a shit.

AN: PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep! U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11


The last sentence is the one that matters. "Oh yeah, and I wasn't being racist, ok!?"

Because the person who shot Lucius and Sirius was a black guy.

A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

“Hi Vampire.” I said flirtily as I started to sob.


How do you flirt before sobbing about the dead dad zone?

Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.


This mixture of eroticism and despair is so strange. We get it, Draco and Vampire and Ebony are all incredibly attractive. Do you have to remind us when dads are dying?

BTW, we know nothing about Ebony's family besides that she's pureblood. Considering the emphasis HP has on family, this is not strange at all because Ebony's backstory is irrelevant compared to having sex with Draco.

“Oh fuck it!” Vampire shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”

“I don’t know.” I said.


And that's that.

“Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor.”

We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.


I imagine they run out of the tree, like, they make running motions even while falling. Something real cartoony-like.

“Sire are dads have been shot!” Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Enoby had a vision in a dreem.”

SIRE ARE DADS HAVE BEEN SHOT

I just want to frame this sentence in my goddamn house. I'm guessing dads here isn't literal since it's 50% dads that have been shot, and 50% father figures.

Dubleodre started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony’s not divisional?”


YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT EIGHT DIVIDED BY TWO IS YOU MOTHERFUKER

He does have a point, since Eboby is high on heroin right now.

“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped (c is da toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional.


Yeah, with how she reacts to Voldemort's threats, she sure as fuck can't make a decision.

It's strange how after a dozen chapters of not caring about that, which includes the guy attempting to be goffik by flying in with an Avril Lavigne robe, she's back to trying to defend her characterization of Dubledore.

“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”

I fought about it. Then all of a sudden….. “Longdon.” I said. I told him which street.


Image
'Cause in sleepy Longdon town
There's no place for a street fighting man, no


Longdon is an actual village in England. This is most assuredly not what Tara had in mind, and managed to misspell London, the capital of Great Britain and location of many wizarding things in HP.

He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found.


Fucking intense isn't it? The band can't get started then a bunch of vague shit happens and then things happen!

Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together. I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room. We looked at each other’s gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed.


and I'm glad our heroes are doing so much to help.

Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchers……………………….and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1


Oh hey guys it turns out they're gonna be ok! Despite that strange portent about Prof. Sinister!

Ebony did it! It being arbitrarily having a premonition this is happening!

I was wearing & kin: 36
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily; frenching passively
Oh my satans: 1
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 7
Fucks failed: 6
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Sun Nov 01, 2015 4:19 am

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Postby Princess Thunderburger (?) » Sun Nov 01, 2015 4:26 am


glorious :allears:
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:10 am

Shot through the dad
And you're to blame
Darling, you give goff
A bad name
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Sun Nov 01, 2015 11:35 am



perfect
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Postby Nick Onimura (?) » Sun Nov 01, 2015 4:40 pm


amazing
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 4:17 pm

WTF OFS UR SUPPOSED 2 DODIS
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 4:24 pm

yarma won't give my back my sweeteer
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:01 pm

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Vampires Will Never Hurt You is - shockingly - a song by My Chemical Romance. I don't know why this chapter is subtitled.

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111


The author's notes are more yelling at reviewers, are you shocked?

Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.


Lucius is Draco's father, like I've said. Now that he's in the story, I suppose I could give more deets. He's a big wizard racist with a pimp cane and works for Voldemort, but on the dl. His wizard racism informed Draco's worldview rather strongly. The only part of this that My Immortal remembers is the Draco's dad part.

Sirius Black was one of the Marauders - pals with Harry's dad, Lupin, and Wormtail - and the guy who chased down Wormtail after he sold out the Potters. He was framed for the deaths of innocents and sent to Wizard Jail where the thought of revenge was the only thing that kept him going. He eventually breaks out, stays incognito with his magical animal form of a large black dog, and helps Harry out here and there. In My Immortal, the only part remembered is that he's Harry's godfather. He's now friend with Lucius for no reason and is a generic cool goffik guy. Tara misspells his name constantly.

He also has a flying motorcycle because that's badass. Why can't we get a wizard dog riding a motorcycle even in fanfics?

“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra.


i mean if that's what the lady wants but we're kinda in public here

She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”


The repeated use of the adjective "fucking" does not help.

I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire. They nodded.

I smelled happily and went into a dark room.


A happy smell is really preppy... are you giving into the mainstream...!?

I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly.


I imagine she stumbled on every word and her vocal inflection changed randomly.

She peered into da balls.


snrk

“You see, you must go back in time.”


i wasnt kidding about the time travel

of course because this is My Immortal it'll take her four more chapters to finally actually go back in time.

She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had.


A Time-Turner is a magical device that allows the user to turn back time, though only a few hours at most lest everything get fucked up irreperably. Hermoine got one to take more classes that would be possible in a normal day.

I established that one should not go back further than a few hours because immediately it's going to be used to go back further than a few hours. I fucking swear that half of the shit I know about Harry Potter is because My Immortal throws it out the fucking window.

“When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head.


actually it was his terrible fear of death and the guy is so sociopathic it'd be hard for him to fall in love but

or maybe he just needs his fireplace fixed

“U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way.


Yep, that's the great revenge against Voldemort: Ebony has to make him fall in love with her.

this is not stupid at all, no.

If he is still evil then you must kill him.


why not do this anyway

the difficulty of killing him is part of why he's a threat


Sinister I think your plan is shit. Travel back in time to make Voldemort fall in love so instead of becoming the most powerful dark wizard, he just... does something else with his life. Because at no point does Ebony consider having to stay back in time to not break Voldemort's heart anew.

It'd be a great irony if it's because of Ebony's seduction that Voldemort targets her with his fucked up bargains. But that's not what happens. Instead the story is more confusing for no reason.

You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”

“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.


I will admit I have literally no idea what "dethz tuch sin" could mean. maybe "death's touch sign"? I have no idea what that is. Fucking hell decade-old mall goth shit is so hard to figure out.

“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.

“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?


Are you sure the rest of your useless friends are asking or not?

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond.


I guess I understated how well the two get along.

Anyway, since they're safe, they could tell us who the black guy was.

They never will. To this day, the black guy remains one of My Immortal's great unsolved mysteries. Was it a clumsy and awful depiction of America's inner-city street violence? Voldemort in disguise? A Death Dealer? Or was it a horrible accident involving mangling black guy wizard cop Kingsley Shacklebolt?

We'll never know.

Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco.


please stop misspelling but as butt, this story is already sexual enough with the literal sex, I don't need butts and cum and fucking everywhere.

It almost reminds me of that "replace the word wand with the word wang" thing


Click for Fullsize

Yes,” Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding…. Any second now, he might hear his mother again… but he shouldn’t think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn’t want to… or did he?

except completely unironic

They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.


Given how laconic this story usually is, the celebration is amazingly described. In fact, it serves what's probably the intended affect and makes it seem overblown.

Two things, though, need more context as I am attempting to explain every fucked up facet of this story.

Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him.


I'll let Wikipedia explain in the image caption.

Image
Valo has stated that the heartagram is a "Modern Yin Yang", and is meant to represent the juxtaposition of 'good and evil', 'light and dark', and 'love and death'.

I don't know if that him at the end of the sentence is the band or refering to Valo as if he's the entire thing.

Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises


That's the store the Wesley brothers run. More evidence that Crab and Goyle were horribly confused with Fred and George

Somehow.

How the fuck do you even do that.

I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.  


Having a soft drink that renders one transparent like the vanishing cream in Tom & Jerry must be terribly useful.

Anyway, having established that Ebony's next move will be to go back in time to seduce Voldemort, Ebony is going to do not that.

Something far, far dumber will happen first. Oh fuck me, will it happen.

I was wearing & kin: 37
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily; frenching passively; smelled happily
Oh my satans: 1
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 7
Fucks failed: 6
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:13 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly.

This seems relevant.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:19 pm

SlateSlabrock wrote:This seems relevant.


Image
BBY THEY CALL ME BIG D

AND I CAN SHOW U WHY
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 7:20 pm

the guy who is a toad: "toad"

the guy who is a fly: "fly"

the man who is a mummy: "mummyman"

clever naming scheme did you blow your entire budget figuring out O.G.R.E.?
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Postby Nick Onimura (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 8:03 pm

Oh god we're getting to the time travel now.

Why can't we get a wizard dog riding a motorcycle even in fanfics?


Because some things are just too good for fanfiction.
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 8:55 pm

Time-Toner

Thought this said Time-Boner, was incredibly confused.
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Sat Nov 07, 2015 8:56 pm

Time toner

reprinting the pages of history.

Thought this said Time-Boner, was incredibly confused.


yes.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 5:11 pm

Image

Like I said, having been given a goal, Ebony will now firmly ignore it. Because for whatever reason Professor Sinister said they're doing it tomorrow. Last time she said that she fucked Draco and something stupid and ultimately pointless happened instead.

Like poetry, it rhymes.

AN: I sed stop gflmaing da story it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory sed dat ok!11111111


I have no idea what this is about. The original upload and thus its reviews are gone. The plan proceeds exactly as Sinister described it. I don't know what the mistake would be.

GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111


I also have no idea which Kiwi this would be and even if it is Kiwi because Tara misspells 80% of the words in the author's note.

We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them.


Which rooms aren't black at this point?

A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box.


Is this supposed to be Draco's room, or something? It's not Ebony's or she'd say "my room". Is it just a random goffik coffin-having chamber?

There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem.


Image
“u go to this skull?”(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

2EDGY4U

like the human blood I have to wonder where they obtained this.

I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.


When did she have time to change? Everything since chapter 22 has been presented as a continuous chain of events.

Also is she supposed to be not wearing a skirt or pants?

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.

“Are you okay?” Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine.


Alabastard is a good name for a band.

He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it.


This is useful information.

“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick. “The problem is……………………….I have to seduce Volxemort. Ill have 2 go bak in time”

Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him.


"Oh no my gf has to seduce an evil man in the past!"

No really that's a good reason to cry sadly.

“Itz okay Eboby.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”

“Of coarse not!” I gasped.

“Really?” he asked.

“Sure.” I said.


Love pyramids are weird, especially when there's already a committed relationship involved.

We frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us longingly.


Love pyramids are weird, especially when this story adamantly refuses to resolve anything, ever.

Then………… I took off Draco’s MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants.


Oh btw I wasn't kidding about fucking Draco.

That's a tagline.

He was hung lik a stallone.


Well the guy's first film was a porno.

He had replaced the Vampire tattoo that said Enoby on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way.


Have you just now noticed he looks exactly lik Gerard Way? Haven't you noticed this twelve times by now? Did the Joel Madden in his face melt off or something? Or was that Vampire? Why do all these men look alike?

I'm glad he found time to fix the tattoo with another man's name on it. It's strange though because there's been no apparent break in the action since the last time they attempted to fuck for him to go to a tattoo parlor.

Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).


One of Ebony's greatest fears is that Snap and Loopin will spy on her and take a secret film of her.

But she's going to let Vampire take a film, there's no way this could backfire.

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.


This line is so patently ridiculous I have nothing in particular to add.

We started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.


"Live long and prosper, I guess. Whatever."

We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly.


I need a twelve-page report on how you perfectly film passive star trek sex in a coffin, so I can put it in the incinerator and ask you what the fuck is wrong with you.

Suddenly………………………….

“WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!”

It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111  


Oh btw random people have burst into the room again and it's about to get even dumber.

I was wearing & kin: 38
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily; frenching passively; smelled happily; passively we did it
Oh my satans: 1
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 8
Fucks failed: 7
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic; Alabastard
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:20 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1!


np
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Postby Pocket (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 6:28 pm

"sat down dispersedly" should be on the list of strange adverbs even if there are technically other words in between them
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 8:21 pm

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Drako and Vampire.

Good detail. As vampires, they can probably turn into mist or shadows or a colony of bats or something.

It was………………………….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111

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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 8:24 pm

SlateSlabrock wrote:Good detail. As vampires, they can probably turn into mist or shadows or a colony of bats or something.


Image


oh my god I'm giggling madly
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 8:51 pm

He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.


amazing
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Mon Nov 09, 2015 8:51 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:
oh my god I'm giggling madly
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Postby Frosthawk (?) » Fri Nov 13, 2015 7:29 pm

I would like to officially petition "heroin cabaret" to be included in the list of great band names.
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Postby Pocket (?) » Sun Nov 15, 2015 3:24 am

I added it to my TXT file of phrases that would make good band names. Close enough?

(Holy damn are there a lot of unwanted folders in My Documents now. How did the entire video game industry never learn that AppData is a thing?)
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:57 pm

*bumps the thread sexily*
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:58 pm

wait.... ew
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:31 pm

Image

Ebony and Draco cannot catch a break. Vampire is here too, not catching a break.

AN: sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111


29 chapters in and the author's note is nothing new.

She's dedicated to it though.

“Oh my satan!1” we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin. Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.


I was hoping jamped was one of those real words but it's not.

"Oh my satan" is one of those things characteristic of the end of the story but here it pops up.

“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher McGongel yielded. We did guiltily.


Snrk.

Giggle.

Tee hee.

We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

“Hey what the fuck!111” Vampire shooted angrily.


Snoop Dogg I was gonna eat that!

“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Draco demonded all protective, looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes.


Longley the basketball player?

Longley The supply company?

"buster"?

“Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango’s. So give back da camera!1111”


St. Mango's is a typo on the hospital's name. I know trying to treat pedophilia as a disease is a thing but this is a wizard hospital and I don't think this is magical in nature.

Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly.


You forgot the quotation marks.

“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Proffesor McGoggle. She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it. There were all these werid tools in it.


Look I know I said to stop using "come" without prepositions or objects and you stopped and that's good, but now you're consistently misspelling it and it's gotten worse.

Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).


I don't think the middle of McGonagal and Snape taking the protagonists to a terrifying dungeon is the best time to propose to to Gerard Way.

He married Mindless Self Indulgence bassist Lyn-Z in September of 2007 so I don't think Tara's gonna get her wish.

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1).


Image
Rice said in a 2008 interview that her vampires were a "metaphor for lost souls".[1] [...] In a 2008 interview with Time, she called her vampires a "metaphor for lost souls" [...] In 2008 Rice called her vampires a "metaphor for lost souls"[.]

Yes the wikipedia article mentions this three times.

The Vampire Chronicles are a series of novels about, well, vampires, specifically the French nobleman Lestat de Lioncourt. It started with Interview with A Vampire in 1975 and continues to this day, though Rice says the next novel will be the last in the series.

I have no idea if they do cry blood in that or not, but even Anne Rice seems too cultured for Tara.

Vampire took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.


I imagine he pinched her nose a couple of times and said "honk honk!" like it were a clown nose.

And then……………….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily.


"Oh yeah we're wizards with guns! Let's kill each other!"

Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet.


"Shit we're really bad at attaining elected office!"

I took out my wand.

“Crosio!” I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun.


That's a bit better of an attempt at the name but not quite there yet. At least it's not a cat's name.

Maybe I should rename one of my cats Crosio out of spite.

But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets.


"Shit Ebony I just finished swan lake and I ain't got shit left!"

I STOPPED DA CURSE.


Why is this in all caps?

Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools. Den she said “OK Serverus I’m going 2 go now.” She left.


"I'm gonna go be irrelevant again, ciao."

No one knows exactly why McGoogle is helping Snap out. Some people theorize it's the Imperius curse because at least it makes sense for her to be taking students to a creepy dungeon with a known pedophile. Other explanations are confusion and idiocy.

Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

“It’s ok Enoby.” said Draco. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Snake.”


THE PINE TREE WILL MAKE IT EBOBY THE PINE TREE WILL MAKE IT

Snape laughed again. And then...he took out some whips!1!1111




I was wearing & kin: 38
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily; frenching passively; smelled happily; passively we did it; cry all sexy and sexitive; shoot angrily (actually using firearms)
Oh my satans: 2
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 8
Fucks failed: 7
Unforgivable Curses: 5
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic; Alabastard
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard; inlosent fools
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:39 pm

McGoonagle


yesssss.
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:40 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily.

Image Withardth don't uthe gunth!
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:56 pm

sheep, does it legit say snoop or are you changing this as a joke

i can't tell anything anymore with this story

did tara discover rap?
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 8:58 pm

:snoop:
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 9:31 pm

I feel obligated to share this.
ImageImage
Avatar by Karzahnii, image used with permission.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 9:49 pm

Angel Beat wrote:I feel obligated to share this.


good
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Postby Nick Onimura (?) » Mon Nov 23, 2015 11:56 pm

“CUM NOW!1!” Preacher McGongel yielded.

Ew.

We did guiltily.

EW.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Nov 24, 2015 12:48 am

Angel Beat wrote:I feel obligated to share this.


i want it
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Postby W.T. Fits (?) » Tue Nov 24, 2015 1:54 am

Angel Beat wrote:I feel obligated to share this.


I feel bad for those poor trees, to know their remains have been desecrated so. :fluttersmith:
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