MY IMMORTAL: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

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Re: MY IMMORTAL: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

Postby Momo (?) » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:47 pm

Angel Beat wrote:Voldemortifying.

:golfclop:
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Postby !saak (?) » Sun Sep 27, 2015 9:47 pm

kidcoelacanth wrote:same

this but unironically
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 1:13 am

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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 1:14 am



i'd believe dril has perfect ears
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Postby Princess Thunderburger (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 1:50 am

Captain Sunshine wrote:
i'd believe dril has perfect ears

dril is literally the sole reason why I pondered getting myself a twitter account
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Postby Logicgate (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 12:06 pm

!saak wrote:this but unironically

:hishovel:
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 4:59 pm

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The hardest part is trying to figure out who all these people are that Tara refers to solely by first name.

AN: stup flaming ok! btw u suk frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz! fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!


Protip: Internet trolls will not give a shit if you hurt yourself as a result of their trolling. In fact telling them their trolling will cause IRL harm would only goad them on further because doing harm is their entire goal, and the internet is too impersonal for your irl harm to reach them even if it would cause sympathy, which it probably won't as internet trolling requires a certain degree of sociopathy.

There's your legit advice in the middle of this fucked up landscape.

“Ebony Ebony!” shouted Draco sadly. “No, please, come back!”

But I was too mad.

“Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted.


Ebony is randomly moody in the way a real teenager would be, and it's hard to sympathize because real teenagers are shitheads.

I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it.


I don't accuse this of being mall goth because of the sheer amounts of clothing, I call it mall goth because Ebony owns so much branded merchandise it's worrying. Her boots have faces on them. Her key has a face on it. Her clothes have random band logos. It's not enough to just have a lot of black leather and fishnets, but it's branded black leather and fishnets.

He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep.


Redundant verbs, at least it's not the same verb twice again.

Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.


So, so much branded merchandise.

The thing with her screwing Vampire in the middle of class happened, well, during a class. Did the whole vision, bothering Dumblydore, and going to Voldemprt's lair happen in the break? One busy afternoon.

put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my ebony black hair out.


Yet more branded merchandise. The boots saying just Joel would probably make people think there's yet another man in her life, that she has very strong opinions about her choice of MST3K host, or that she's a crazy person whose boots have faces and names on them.

The anarchy thing is just her clasping on any counter-culture out there.

Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work.


ATP MOTHERFUCKER LOOK AT THAT POTENTIAL ENERGY *phosphate leaves* HOLLLY SHIT

my atp must be mad I'm using all of them to write about My Immortal.

I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!

“Enoby I love you!” he shouted sadly.


Maybe it's in the 300-level classes but this never happened to me.

No I have no idea why this is happening. You'd think there'd be a less strange way to have Draco suddenly enter the scene.

“I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.”


Man if only that fucking and be were reversed, then it'd be accurate.

Then……………. he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! His singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) .


Chester is the lead singer of Linkin Park, and Pierre is the lead of Simple Plan. Or maybe the Renaissance naturalist Pierre Belon left a mark on the young Tara.

Image
I’m not related to him but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie.

Per usual, even though you know now who they are, getting the fuk out is optional. Unless you don't want to know about Renaissance naturalists, then you really should get the fuk out.

“OMFG.” I said after he was finished.

OHM-FUH-GH!

Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story


Then we kissed like a woman I despise utterly and a guy I only really know from his starring role in the bad film House of Wax.

Why is she comparing herself to a woman she despises utterly, again?

Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether.


Fuck off you weird chewing pedo, this strange goffik lady in Joel boots has reconciled with her strange goffik bf, a task that has taken several chapters, a suicide fake-out, an act of murder, and public sex with a different strange goffik bf.

And that lady... was Albert Einstein.


Click for Fullsize

I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

Why did gothic albert einstein return results? Why did I search it? Oh no this is destroying my brain oh noooooooooooooooooooooooo

Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. 


I can't help but feel like we've gone in a circle, with these two horny simpletons going to concerts in Hogsmeade, and all that's happened in the meantime is we've gotten very uncomfortable.

Can you believe this is only chapter 15 of 44?

I was wearing & kin: 13
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely
Fucks attempted: 4
Fucks failed: 4
Unforgivable Curses: 4
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 5:19 pm

:golfclop: dey look so sexy 2gether
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 5:45 pm

Marilyn Manson... Sexy? :psyduck:
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Postby Pocket (?) » Mon Sep 28, 2015 6:22 pm

Missed opportunity: Throwing in a picture of mock boy band 2gether. But at the rate the writing is deteriorating in this, I have a hunch it won't be the last opportunity you get.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Sep 29, 2015 3:05 am

chapter 16 is kind of draining holy shit there's just so much here and I finally have to delve into Raven's fanfics too in order to present the full picture
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Sep 29, 2015 11:46 pm

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The proper response to chapter 16 is incoherent shrieks that beg God for sanity, but I'll try to make it a little clearer.

This is gonna be a long one, a real long one. Tara would make this two chapters normally and then I have to go on strange tangents and oh my satan.

AN: u no wut! sut up ok! proov 2 me ur nut prepz! raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet ur supsd 2 rit dis! Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis!


"You know what? Shut up, ok?! Prove to me you're not preps! Raven you suck, you fucking bitch! Give me back my fucking sweater! You're supposed to write this! Raven, what the fuck, you bitch, you're supposed to do this!"

Raven and Tara had a falling out IRL as it relates to a sweater and a poster, apparently.

BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!


No clue who Britney five-thousand six-hundred fifty-five is, but it's her fault characters say kawaii now. It's worth it next chapter.

We ran happily to Hogsmede. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures.


Helena is the first track off of Three Cheers just FYI.

Even Draco thought so, I could totally see him getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother.


I'd probably get a boner too if Gerard Way was singing to me about how starfalls used to bring me to tears.

No the love triangle is not resolved in the slightest, why do you ask?

I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Draco was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants.


A two-fer on outfits! Glad to see Ebony wears at least one pair of boots without faces or names on them. The dudes' outfits tend to be rather plain compared to Ebony's, and I don't know if it's because she's less interested in men's fashion or what.

Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive.


I hope they stopped moshing to kiss because that sounds like a great way to lose your tongue.

Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. Volsemort and da Death Dealers!


This is really fucking dense in madness. Um first off there exists in Harry Potter a potion that causes one to appear as another person, so why is Volsemort using plain old masks instead of the potion? How good are these masks, that they could perform a song while in them? Does Volsemort normally sing Helena? Is whichever Death Dealer on guitar really as good as Ray Toro?

And why is Voldemort even bothering with posing as MCR? How'd he pull it off? Where did he find a nigh-flawless Gerard Way mask? Will Draco ever confront the fact he got a boner from Voldemort?

Volsemort and the Death Dealers is a great name for a band btw.

“Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them”


We abruptly cut to another scene. This isn't some in-media-res thing where "last time" is referring to the Death Dealers.

“What cause we…you know…” he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what.


Because he's talking about having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest. No going to the MCR concert hasn't happened yet. That was a false start like Vampire's vision.

“Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice.

“We won’t do that again.” Draco promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.”

“OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?”


"I'm bringing someone to make sure that our high drunk asses don't land in more trouble."

No that doesn't sound unreasonable. Ebony has some ridiculous standards though. Is goffikness lost this easily? Really?

“NO.” he muttered loudly.

“R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily.


Seriously, Ebony, he just suggested you bring a pal who won't be doing cigarettes and drugs. That's entirely reasonable!

“Enoby! I’m not! Pls come with me!” He fell down to his knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me.

I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!


Indeed, The World is Black is track 10 on Chronicles. I am going to go ahead and suppose that this isn't a situation like We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank where the best track isn't any of the five singles but Parting of the Sensory.



Christ I love Modest Mouse.

“OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.


So do you suppose if I sung to the love of my life about stealing carbon would she respond "aw fuck it I guess I lost" and go to a concert she wanted to go to anyway with her lover?

Hypothetical question as this My Immortal analysis is an automatic swipe left.

B’loody Mary was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese).


Apparently that's the greeting for meeting someone for the very first time. B'loody Mary had all the time in the world just standing there doing nothing in Ebony's room to get that right.

“BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” (an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)


Willow, if you remember, from chapter 2, is Raven's character. This is the first time since chapter 2 she's been mentioned as B'loody Mary has taken on her best friend role. She's now suddenly very relevant as she is getting owned repeatedly. Skipping math seems to be an irl detail mixed in with the Harry Potter world details. The author's note just hammers the point home.

“It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily.

Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Willow will die too.” I said.

“Kawai.” B’loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly.


Like Corpse Bride, The Nightmare Before Christmas is another Tim Burton film whose cast is mostly cadavers. It was in fact popular with the gothic crowd because I was there, I saw it, popular with the mid 2000's gothic crowd.

How do you shake your head energetically and lethargically at the same time? Why are such weird adverbs there?

Incidentally, remember what I said about Raven?

what I said about Raven wrote:Raven is also writing a story about a sexy gothic teenage babe falling in love with Draco that's concurrent with this. Ebony is in that story, but no one remembers it because Raven is a very dull writer compared to Ebony, and can actually spell.


It's called I'm Not Okay which makes it one of five-thousand six-hundred fifty-five fanfics with that title. The first version I found has some stupid snarky asshole over it and he's not very funny and he makes copy/pasting the text harder.

I'm Not Okay wrote:Fifteen-year-old Eternity Demen'tia Johnson warily took a seat on the Hogwarts Express. As she did so, she heard many giggles in the air. Ugh. Stupid preps. Eternity had hoped she wouldn't see any when she came to Hogwarts. They had made her life in Los Angeles High School miserable. Now she was supposed to put up with them here? She sighed sadly, and stared out of the window. In her misery, she took her iPod out of her Emily the Strange bag and blared on some My Chemical Romance (A/N: Don't they rock?) Oh great. Now even more preps were giving her dirty looks. Eternity tried her best to ignore them. It wasn't because Eternity was dirty or deformed or anything. Maybe it was something to do with her black leather corset, or her ripped black miniskirt or her black combat boots or the metal music she was listening to. Eternity hated how people judged her like that just because she was a goth.


As you can see it's very similar to My Immortal - staring a melodramatic hooker with excessive amounts of branded merchandise who complains about preps.

still I'm Not Okay wrote:Draco just smiled shyly at Eternity through his silvery-blue eyes and black hair.


Oh and falls in love with Draco.

It's nowhere near as fun as Raven is just a bad writer and not an impossibly hilariously bad writer like Tara.

The relevant part is chapter 5, where Raven snaps back and similarly owns Tara's character Elvira.

someone call the ambulance because I'm Not Okay wrote:a/n: TARA IS DA BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH EVER AND BY THE WAY I'M A BIGGER MCR FAN AND GERARD IS MINE 4EVA SO FUCK U! AND I'M NOT GIVING U UR SWEATER BACK!

Eternity was so happy. She went to class with the other fifth-years, Sea, Draco, Shadow, Darren and Satan. That fucking retard Elvira (whose real name was Lindsay like that fucking ho Lindsay Loan) had gone all the way back to first-year and they put her in Gryffindor where all the retarded preps were because she couldn't even write properly and she had to get her friends 2 do it for her.


If I have to explain who Lindsay Lohan is I am going to ask you to return to living under your rock. If I have to explain who Lidnsay Loan is, she's a banking mascot.

Elvira might be named after Cassandra Peterson's character Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. I am bringing this up now as otherwise I'd never mention Elvira at all and that seems like a great big shame tbh.

Anyway, back to My Immortal where we're still completely batshit insane:

“Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he’s a necphilak.”


Well B'loody Mary you've got some explaining to do, literally killing someone to satisfy the author's petty urges.

And why is poor Remus Lupin a necrophiliac pedophile now? What did he do to deserve this?

How does Ebony respond to her once-friend's murder and the defilement of her corpse?

“Kawai.” I commnted happily .


I AM HAVING DIFFICULTY HANDLING THIS FANFIC AT THE MOMENT.

We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie.


This is so dumb it's looped around and become profound. Talking in silence, the destruction of communication, the internet and cell phones have brought us closer together yet let us put up more walls than ever, we're talking, yes, but are we communicating? We aren't. We're talking in silence.

Or maybe she meant "quietly".

“OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.”

B’Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.”


I'd like a hotset outfit and to know metal gear solid characters irl.

So, yeah, the start of this chapter was a fake-out. Why is ENERGeticALLY capitalized so STRAngELY?

“In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde.

“No.” My head snaped up.

‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “B’Loody Mary are u a PREP?”


Image
Almost overnight the Glorious Loyalty Oath Crusade was in full flowering, and Captain Black was enraptured to discover himself spearheading it.

Ebony snaps at people instantly. The late teen chapters tend to have a identity theme to them, in as much as people are called posers more often than normal.

“NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that’s all.”

“Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me.


Why is she mad at Vampire at the moment? Is it because he wouldn't plunge the knife in Snaketail's heart for her?

B'loody Mary gets the suspicion of prephood cleared rather easily. She didn't even have to sing about beating hearts of robots or anything.

“Dumblydore.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.”

“OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?” I asked quietly.

“Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.”


OH MY FUCKING FUCKING GOD DUMBLYDORE

No explanation why B'loody Mary was looking at Dumblydore's desk. Just none.

We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses.


So they go to Some Store and find the second sexiest man.

“We only have these for da real goffs.”

“Da real goffs?” Me and B’Loody Mary asked.

“Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man!["]


What makes someone a real goff instead of a poser is really fuzzy, when defining it besides someone who is goff but Tara doesn't like them for whatever reason.

["]Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.”

“OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried,


Yesterday... what was yesterday? Wasn't that when they did spy on you? Is it? Did they even have tim to get the camera fixed? Lupin was standing around to yell at sexy couples, so despite being caught in the act of video taping a student nude by Dumbledore himself, they're still around?

What?
running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit.

“Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said.

“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Mary.


Is this our first oh my satan? Oh no. Oh dear. Oh no.

“You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked.

“Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him.


Oh look she gets a really fancy dress for free because she's sexy. Doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?

“Hey BTW my name’s ebondy dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?”


MY NAMES EBONDY... JAMES EBONDY

so the Raven part's been replaced by Tara. I've coincidentally been calling the author Tara this whole time. This is only the first incident where she gives away her own name. I guess, maybe this is a response too to Raven's claim that her real name is Lindsay?

Either way she's real pissed at her friend.

“Tom Rid.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair.


Tom Riddle is the name of the wizard who would fall to the dark and become known as Voldemort.

No, Tom Rid has nothing to do with Volsemort and Da Death Dealers.

It's like if Star Wars had a bar owner named Anakin Sky and did nothing with that.

“maybe I’ll see you there tonight.”

“Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!” I yelled angrily


Ebony has been really upset and all she's doing is alienating her friends. I'd have sympathy if she weren't an asshole at all other times anyway.

but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” 


And to close out the chapter, here comes Best Friend Hagrid who just swoops in and speaks some real sense.

Chances anyone will listen to him? None. This is My Immortal. Our protagonists are dumb.

I was wearing & kin: 15
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 4
Fucks failed: 4
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Wed Sep 30, 2015 12:23 am

“Kawai.” I commnted happily .


pfffffffff
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Postby londonarbuckle (?) » Wed Sep 30, 2015 12:46 am

wow it's almost as if this barely qualifies as a story and is in fact highly dependent on the whims of a flighty teenager's mood! What are the odds???
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Postby The Ghost Of Ember (?) » Wed Sep 30, 2015 12:54 am

i haven't been following this at all i just want to say parting of the sensory is an amazing song and we were dead before the ship even sank may be the single definitive album in my life
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this movie haunts me
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Postby Pocket (?) » Wed Sep 30, 2015 5:11 am

"Muttered loudly" doesn't count as an strange adverb? "Gadgetted uncomfortbli" deserves some kind of special mention for being completely hilarious even without the aid of an inappropriate adverb.

*Gadgets uncomfortbli* would be a good user title. Anyone want to find me a suitable avatar to go with? :allears:
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Wed Sep 30, 2015 9:57 am

That was bloody exhausting. :lol:
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Wed Sep 30, 2015 10:32 am

"Gadgetted uncomfortbli" is a good one, yes
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sat Oct 03, 2015 2:38 am

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You know what I like? The events that just happened being completely contradicted.

AN: I sed stup flming da stryo! if ur a prep den dnot red it! u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage. if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF!


I don't know if she ever links her homepage. Maybe it was on her author profile on fanfiction.net? I'm going to guess it was a myspace page. That just seems likely to me.

pz willo isn’t rely a prep. Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!


Immediately after most of last chapter was spent telling Raven to fuck off and go to hell, Tara tries to reconcile. Whatever happened, Raven doesn't ever go back to editing this. It's only going to get harder to read.

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).


That nice bisexual fucking perv!

Hargird kept shooting at us to cum back 2 Hogwarts. “WTF Hargrid?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.”


"please, please ebony don't make bad choices"
"ebony please go back to hogwarts"
"ebony you are about to make a mistake if you don't go to hogwarts"
"fuck off you fjucking bastard"

Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily.


Despite being killed and defiled last chapter, Willow's back. Like actually in the scene for the first time since chapter 2. Tara's going all in on making it up to her gf (ew not in that way) Raven.

“Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said.


And she's back with the best possible line with which to return.

“Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Willow’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.


WHY YES MY DEAR FRIEND WILLOW WHO IS IMPOSSIBLY SEXY

or is it

WHY YES MY DEAR FRIEND WILLOW WITH THE LARGE ROBERTS

or maybe she has a lot of beepers

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The U.S. paging industry generated $2.1 billion in revenue in 2008, down from $6.2 billion in 2003.

“So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?” she asked.

“Yah.” I said happily.

“I’m gong with Diabolo.” she anserred happily.


Strange choice since as we saw, Raven's fic had her character with Draco as well. Is Diabolo Weasley the consolation prize, or something?

Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower.


Three outfits in one chapter, shit! Diabolo doesn't get his pants described so he's wearing apparently nothing but a 666 t-shirt and a smile.

The Warped Tour is a... 'travelling rock music festival'. Well that's something. MCR played in 2004 and 2005 and that's probably why it's mentioned at all.

B’loody Mart was going 2 da concert wif Dracola.


Hermonie's canonical love interest is Ron. But who can resist the refreshing carbonated taste of Dracola!?

Dracola used to be called Navel but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires.

They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now.


But now she's with Neville Longbottom because he has a suspiciously similar origin story. Alack I don't think he's going to decapitate any snakes today.

Wait. Dracola's real parents were vampires and they dyed in a car crash... couldn't only crosses and steaks kill vampires?

Well anyway we al went 2 Draco’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that his dad Lucian gave him.


I don't recall Ebony ever getting Lucius's name right. He's in fact Draco's dad.

I don't think Mercy-Bens is much of a goffik pun. I've attempted to pronounce gpffik irl. I've never succeeded.

We did pot, coke and crak. Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps.


Finally! Those are the drugs! These kids just get goddamn wasted! All the escort did was provide more noses for cocaine!

Both coke and crack?

We soon got there…….I gapsed.

Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz.


...Ethnic? He's from New Jersey. Did she mean some other word? Does she not know what ethnic means?

Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was…….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!


Oh yeah this is happening again.

hey ebony you know what

Image

“U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Draco!”

“No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife.


Finally Voldemort is attempting to collect on the deal. Why he is using a knife when he's a master wizard is beyond me.

Moronic idiots is a good burn. I'd say it angstily too if the lady to whom I gave a deal just... fucking didn't do it or anything really.

Sudenly a gothic old man flu in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away. It was…………………………………DUMBLYDORE! 


Inexplicably they're bailed out by gothic Dumblydore with the most amazing outfit in the world. Fuck off Jacob, your coat doesn't have shit on the Avril Lavigne robe.

I was wearing & kin: 20
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 4
Fucks failed: 4
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots
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Postby Frosthawk (?) » Sat Oct 03, 2015 5:52 am

Today I learned that anyone ever has considered Avril Lavigne 'gothic'.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Sat Oct 03, 2015 11:17 am

dracola, the new goffik taste from coca cola
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Sat Oct 03, 2015 11:24 am

It has a bloody fine bite.
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Postby Momo (?) » Mon Oct 05, 2015 4:57 am

I had the gothic old man flu once. Black bread really helps clear it up.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 5:47 pm

oh shit I think sparklee's dead I can't make my chapter headers anymore
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 6:47 pm

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sparklee.com seems to be dead but thankfully momo has provided replacements. Alack I cannot incriment the blue value up one each chapter with these.


Click for Fullsize

REST IN FUCKING PIECE
Sparklee.com
20xx-2015
at the end of the world or the last thing i see you are never coming home - MCR (I dont own da lyrics 2 dis song)

Anyway after 16 and 17 and before 19 and 20 we need to catch our breath. This is it, the breath. Catch it.

AN: I SED STUP FLAMMING! if u do den ur a fuken prep! fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep. fangz for muh sewter!


Apparently Raven and Tara have finally reconciled. Raven however isn't back to editing as the fanfic remains as typoriffic as ever. What it means is that Willow is going to be standing around in scenes and have her outfit described.

ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!


"P.S. the other reason Dumbledore swore is because he's trying to be gothic, so there!"

Also apparently Dumbledore's been trying to be goffik since chapter 4, and only recently grasped Ebony's definition of goffikness is tied up in consumption.

I woke up the next day in my coffin. I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly. I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.


You know, I thought her coffin was horizontal, like a regular bed, but I guess it's vertical, like she'd look like she's standing. Maybe she changes it every now and then for novelty's sake.

Doesn't Hogwarts have a dress code? Ebony's outfits keep getting racier. Since Draco got away with being naked with apparently no repercussions then I guess not, at least if one is sexy.

(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth). Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away.


I love these puns, they're getting dumber.

We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red. There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom.


I don't think Draco's on a broom. I think Draco's flying on a boom mike from the concert. Either that or this branded merchandise thing is mixing with the setting in the strangest way. Is MCR a wizarding world band in this or something?

We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)


Holy shit.

They finally did it.

They had sex successfully, without someone running in or any other interruptions! Woo hoo!

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"Let's get down for brass taxes" Then they hatd sex but it didnt go so well The end

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall. There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant. And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.


If you don't know who the Backstreet Boys are then I'd really like to live under your rock with you.

Ashley Simpson is the sister of pop star Jessica Simpson, and she (Ashley) had in 2005 hit success with the single L.O.V.E. You know. L-o. L-o. l-o-v-e lemme hear ya say.

It's a real stretch to call these bands poser bands, and I think Tara's confused going with a less-cheery tone for trying to go goff, as though goffs have a monopoly on being sadder than goddamn ecstasy.

“WTF!” I shouted going to sit next to B’loody Mary and Willow. B’loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets.


This is all B'loody Mary will do today. Willow will get a one-liner that's far shorter than this outfit description.

Vampire, Dracula and Draco came.


Please stop using conjugations of come without objects or prepositions.

...Prepositions. Preps. I think I figured it out. She won't use "into the room" because, literally, it's a prep phrase.

We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong. The boys joined in cause they were bi.


Oh sure you give the surnames of the other two but leave me out in the cold to find a Mike. First hit is Mike Shinoda, guitarist for Linkin Park, and sure let's go with that because he's a reasonably attractive fellow and I am not wanting to examine every group mentioned positively for Mikes.

“Those guys are so fucking hot.” Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came.


Please stop using conjugations of come without objects or prepositions.

He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare black.

“……………….DUMBLEDORE?1!” we all gasped.


Why did you kill the rabbit Dumblydoor?

“WTF?” I shouted angrily. “I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!”

“Hello everyone.” he said happily. “As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?”

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer. Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn’t believe what a poser he was!1.


The students and faculty are trying to fit in with you and they didn't quite get it but they're trying dammit! They just want to be your pals! Give 'em a break!

“BTW you can call me Albert.” HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes


Dumbledore's first name is Albus. Albert is significantly less magical-sounding.

“What a fucking poser!” Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation.


Transfiguration, it's supposed to be. It's the branch of magic that would be about turning bloody pentagrams into black guitars.

And just that.

We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way (geddit, way lik Gerard) but I didn’t say anything.


I hate these puns, they're getting too dumb.

“I bet he’s havin a mid-life crisis!” Willow shouted.


Dumbledore would be over 120 in 2006.

I was so fucking angry. 


Me too.

I was wearing & kin: 23
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 5
Fucks failed: 4
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots
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Postby W.T. Fits (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 7:01 pm

... somehow I find it comforting that despite how lousy my day has been and how miserable I am right now, my brain still refuses to try and parse this congealed mishmash of letters and numbers that the author claims is language.
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Postby Frosthawk (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 8:01 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:Oh sure you give the surnames of the other two but leave me out in the cold to find a Mike. First hit is Mike Shinoda, guitarist for Linkin Park, and sure let's go with that because he's a reasonably attractive fellow and I am not wanting to examine every group mentioned positively for Mikes.


I'm assuming she's actually referring to Mikey Way here, Gerard Way's brother and bassist for My Chemical Romance.

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This is a rare instance of Tara actually using correct grammar.
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Postby Frosthawk (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 8:03 pm

Mikey is way hotter than Gerard btw. I'm also bi and can join in on this conversation.
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Postby Momo (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 9:32 pm

Frosthawk wrote:Mikey is way hotter than Gerard btw. I'm also bi and can join in on this conversation.

Only if you aren't actually bi and therefore a threat to Tara's exclusive claim on everyone with a passing interest in her. Bi on paper, really.
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Postby Pocket (?) » Tue Oct 06, 2015 10:16 pm

Frosthawk wrote:This is a rare instance of Tara actually using correct grammar.

And "Ashlee Simpson" is a rare instance of her using correct spelling.
Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:i am not ready for the transhumanist revolution to begin with my butt
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Oct 13, 2015 11:23 pm

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About now the story decides to amble confusingly in random directions for a while as the prose gets worse and worse.

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11


I assume by now you can read this successfully without effort.

...

fine

"Author's Note: Please stop flaming the story; if you do you're a fucking prep and you're jealous, ok! From now on I'm going to delete your mean reviews! By the way, Ebony is a pureblood so there! Thanks to Raven for the help!"

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.


And just like that the conflict from the last chapter is sort of forgotten.

Draco was being all secretive. Then he said, " By the way I love Vampire....we shagged while u werentt looking at the breakfast table so Iam breaking up with u." But I just made out with him so he shut up and said it was a joke and he was just upset.


Just in time for our new conflict: Draco makes a shitty joke and everyone gets a knot in their panties.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.


The events here are much easier to understand in light of them being asshole teenangers who sort of do things on whims.

They're also horny, since every line includes calling Draco hot.

He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)


These godawful puns are my life force btw. My qi. That it's in an outfit description which kill me is very ironic.

I'm dying help.

I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)


If I wanted to be rude I'd make you PM me if you want to see the picture.

But I'm not rude so here you go.

Image
She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

Something like this I guess.

“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.

“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.

“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.

“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.

But it was to late. I knew what I herd.


I think something got lost in editing. Maybe Draco was meant to be caught in a compromising position with Vampire? Or maybe he told the joke but didn't admit it was a joke at first? That I suppose something like this means something is going completely wrong, anyway.

I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!).


...viower excretion advisd indeed. I don't think I want to see that video now.

I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.


Now it's time for reefer madness! It's the same as regular madness as Ebony never acts differently despite whatever substances she consumes.

Oh well. :snoop: 420 goff erryway (geddit lik gerard) :snoop:

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.

“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”


Appearated is a great verb. RIP the weed.

Only it wasn’t just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”


Dumbledore wants to make sure he's not wearing the same dress as anyone else. Hard to tell when everyone wears black leather corsets all the time.

“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.

“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Draco has a surprise for u.” 


Dumbledore wants to make sure he's wearing the correct band robe this time.

WHAT WILL THE SURPRISE BE LEAVE UR VOTES IN DA COMMETS N IT WONT MATTER COZ DIS STROY IS INSANE

I was wearing & kin: 25
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 5
Fucks failed: 4
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Wed Oct 14, 2015 12:50 am

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:Oh shit I completely forgot, Chapter 7 for some really stupid reason has a subtitle: Bring me 2 life.

It's another Evanescense song.

7, 19, 27, and 35, 39, 40, and 42 have subtitles. I do not know why.


Shit I forgot Chapter 19 has a subtitle.

It's im nut ok i promise a butchering of the MCR song that's come up once or twice by now.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Wed Oct 14, 2015 11:37 am

so dumblydore is a poser, if i'm getting this right

does tara hate him or something?
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Wed Oct 14, 2015 11:54 am

Lunch break at workposting:

Dumbelldore


:yeah:
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Postby Demeh (?) » Wed Oct 14, 2015 12:50 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:ATP MOTHERFUCKER LOOK AT THAT POTENTIAL ENERGY *phosphate leaves* HOLLLY SHIT


I'm in tears

I only just started reading this shit

this is

this is-

Hnnngh????
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A dramatic turn of events!
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Wed Oct 14, 2015 2:30 pm

Captain Sunshine wrote:so dumblydore is a poser, if i'm getting this right

does tara hate him or something?


He spends most of the rest of the story, well, not exactly good but not a hindrance to her anymore.

It's very strange.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:17 pm

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I discussed the story being in 5 phases. The point it changes from becoming insane was long ago, and we're in the part where it stays as nutty as ever but becomes even less well-written. I believe this chapter is the fulcrum between these.

AN: I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink! stof pflamin ok prepz!1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania 4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatz.


"I said I don't care what you think! Stop flaming, okay, preps! Thanks to Raven for the help! Oh yeah, by the way, I'll be in vacation in Transylvania for the next three days, so don't expect updates."

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We return to Transylvania! Prepare the transit beam!

Obvious place of vacation for someone obsessed with Vampires in the pre-Twilight days.

All day I wondered what the surprise was. Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots. MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited.


This lady prepares for concerts strangely. So MCR were going to have a concert but Voldemort... took it over. So he could yell at teenagers in a particularly dramatic fashion. Maybe he was so infatuated with Gerard Way too, since he is a fucking sex bomb, and couldn't bring himself to commit murder.

*snaps fingers* Draco's so damn moody because he's trying to cope with his Voldemort-based boner! Wait. Or did that happen? Was that in the false start? Does it count? Such a strange story.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom. I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.


Thank You for the Venom is indeed yet another song from Three Cheers.

Sacredly. Hah.

“Wut de fucking hell r u doing!” I shouted angrily. It was Loopin!


Hey it's this guy we haven't seen since he got mad at them for being sexy before they went to the first failed concert. We haven't seen Snape in a while either. Is he okay?

“R u gonna cum rape me or what.” I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.


No, um, uh, that's not something you should be saying anyway.

Dumbledore knows that Snape and Lupin recorded an underage student in the nude... and didn't do much of anything because...

...uh...

“No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns.” he growld angrily.


That. Pun. Why is a bad guy making the goffik puns again?

Condemn is an accidental one. He's just asking for some protection. MY IMMORTAL TALLING YOU ABOUT SEVE SEX DONT FUCK YUER VAMPAIRE BOYFRIEND WITHOUT A CNODMDEM

“Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?” I shouted sarkastikally.

“Fuker.” He said, gong away.


goddamn did you have to dunk him that hard

Well anyway, I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went.


But I thought you didn't need foundation? Or maybe she just feels like it sometimes?

Den I gasped…………………………………………………………….Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1


Turns out Lupin wanted to fuck Snape all along and was going to do it in a public space with or without protection!

...What?!

And the house elf is staring, enraptured!

...What?!

“Oh my god you ludacris idiot!” they both shooted angrily when they saw me.


If someone walked into a public space and caught me boning a major enemy of mine this is about what I'd scream, yeah. Maybe I'll yell it anyway.

I can't call it a sick burn since they were caught in the act, though, and it's a lot like ludacris fools.

Dobby ran away crying.


Oh, yeah, Dobby. Dobby is a house elf. House elves are tiny magical creatures with incredible loyalty and obedience who are used by wizards as servants, basically. This is his first and last appearance, beholding the spectacle of homosexual love-making then retreating in fear.

Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it) but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)


Snape moved houses, hence why he's fucking Lupin in this hallway of Slytherin house.

?????????????????????????

Also yeah that thing about liking dudes doing it whatever that's background noise at this point.

“WTF is that why u wanted condoms?” I asked sadistically. (c I speld dat)


Y-yeah, you did. It isn't registering as a typo to chrome's spellcheck. Congrats you got one word correctly.

“Only you wouldn’t give them to me!” Lumpkin shouted angrily.

“Well you shoulda told me.” I replayed.

“You dimwit!.” Snake began 2 shoot angrily.


Lupin was asking and you just kept mocking him! Is this what it's like to have a scene with no positive characters where everyone is an asshole?

And then………I took out my black camera and took a pic of them. U could see that they were naked and everything.

“Well xcuse me!” they both shouted angrily. “What was dat al about?”

“It wuz to blackmail u.” I snarked. “So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I’ll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!”


Well since she's now on the same level as them she might as well revel in it. Is it really this easy to catch someone else having sex in Hogwarts? Is she taking it as a given that they're gonna find her having sex at some point?

Dumbledore's gonna have a headache when this house of cards collapses. I hope it does so he calls someone a motherfuker again.

I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it.


There is no part of this that is stupid, nope. It all makes sense. Tossing injuries is a great plan.

And if it's a typo for wand, well, not using a spell is a great plan. It's like throwing the gun instead of shooting it. There's no way this will backfire.

Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

“WTF where’d Draco?” I asked him.

“Oh he’s bein a fucking bastard.


Vampire is just standing there in the middle of somewhere, looking like a goddamn hunk.

He told me he wouldn’t cum.” Vampire said shaking his hed. “U wanna cum with me? 2 the concert?”


Ghhk! These typos! It was bad enough before but now it's worse! Now it's begging me!

Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it. The one on da back said ‘ENOBY’ on it.


Well thanks Sirius, for this help in one-upping Draco. You're the nicest godfather around, in this escalating love triangle.

Sirius shows up later so I suppose I could actually give the dossier on him then. His My Immortal incarnation is basically "cool adult goth guy".

……….I gasped.

We flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, playing.

Vampire and I began 2 make out, moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.

I almost had an orgasim. Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing ‘Helena’ and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall.


This is almost the exact same set-up as Voldemort and the Death Dealers but instead, we get a much less exciting twist.

……….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner. 


Draco is conveniently there, just to be sad.

...You guys think I should count 'shouted angrily'?

I was wearing & kin: 26
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 6
Fucks failed: 5
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots
Last edited by Orange Fluffy Sheep on Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:29 pm

how is this story not even halfway over yet
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:37 pm

SlateSlabrock wrote:how is this story not even halfway over yet


AMBLING!

LACK OF RESOLUTION TO SUBPLOTS!

TIME TRAVEL!!
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