MY IMMORTAL: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

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Re: MY IMMORTAL: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

Postby Momo (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:46 pm

I'd put "sacredly I hopped inside" on the list of strange adverbs before I'd count "shouted angrily", but that's me.
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:47 pm

I meant shouted angrily by number. It happens a lot.

somehow when I came time for tallies I forgot about sacredly.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:48 pm

what the fuck am i reading
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:49 pm

why is lupin fucking snape
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Thu Oct 15, 2015 5:58 pm

Captain Sunshine wrote:why is lupin fucking snape


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Postby Momo (?) » Sat Oct 17, 2015 7:43 pm

hay u preps put gud revwoers or or ofs int gonna updtae dis thred
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Postby Yarma (?) » Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:47 pm

OK I'm caught up!

I never read ravens story or saw it mentioned but dunking on her for having to have someone write for her is pretty lol

Also why the fuck did you bring up modest mouse when I'm trying to defend MCR that's not really fair is it?!?

PS and dobby was watching is one of my favorite lines it's just so funny to me.
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Postby Caldera (?) » Mon Oct 19, 2015 7:30 am

I feel the need to share this here.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Mon Oct 19, 2015 9:22 am

Caldera wrote:I feel the need to share this here.


amazing
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Oct 20, 2015 11:23 pm

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AN: fuk u ok! u fokng suk. itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!


"Author's note: Fuck you, okay! You fucking suck. It's not my fault it's spelled wrong, ok, becaue that bitch Raven caused it; fuck you preps! Whoops, sorry Raven, thanks for the help. By the way, Transylvania rocks hard! I even got to go to the castle where Dracula was filmed!"

That picture in the last chapter is said castle, IIRC.

Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room. “Draco are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.

“No I’m not u fuking bitch!” he shouted angrily.


At least he's found a new corner in which to cry. The Hogsmeade one must've been soaked.

He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.


Yeah um, if you can somehow determine from someone's gait the desire to end it all, I guess that is what it would mean.

“Its ok Enoby.” said Vampire comfortly. “Ill make him feel better.”

“U mean you’ll go fuck him wont you!” I shouted angrily.


This is the weirdest love triangle because Ebony is afraid the other two lines will go bugger off without her. She's very very aggressive about it.

Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too.

“Draco please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)


And now suddenly the tone of their interaction shifts wildly.

Um if you actually are a homophone you can stay. It's okay. I can stand the site of you.

And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it.


Oh shit Celestia's strippers will need to be white after all since the coke's black!

Vampire actually owns an invisibility cloak. It's a cloak... that is invisible!

wait how is it a black invisibility cloak

We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Filth come.


Image
The cat that played Mrs Norris is a Maine Coon. In sharp contrast to Mrs Norris's description in the books as being scrawny, Maine Coons are a large, stocky breed.

Amazingly, Tara's managed to mix up the cat with her owner. Filch is more or less the janitor of Hogwarts, who has a close bond with his cat Ms. Norris.

He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Mr. Norris.

“No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!” Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.


The invincibility coke is worth very little since a cat will just go under it and the inhabitants yell insults.

“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow. “Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Filth nodded.


How does he know there is an invisibility cloak there?

And then……………………….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as…………………….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

“WHAT DA-” he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him.


Why didn't you run from him in the first place? Did you have to sneak a kiss in or something?

And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.


This is his fourth weeping spot, sheesh.

“Draco!” I cried. “R u okay?”

“I guess though.” Draco weeped. We went back to our coffins frenching each other. Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin) on the gothic red bed together.


Lake Placid, or so I've read, is a comedy spoof on horror films. And not a particularly good one.

As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1 


THIS CONFLICT IS ALMOST RESOLVED HERE COMES A CRAZY FUNK BAND

I was wearing & kin: 26
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 6
Fucks failed: 5
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Wed Oct 21, 2015 12:31 am

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:And then………………………….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke. We both gut under it.

Image

As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1 

This would be a moderately good name for a band.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Wed Oct 21, 2015 12:50 am

it's happening :flail:
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Postby Frosthawk (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 7:47 am

Wulfe and I just read through this entire fucking thread and had a drinking game going where we took turns reading this story aloud, and every time one of us either screwed up the exact pronunciation of what was written or cracked up laughing, we had to take a drink from our screwdrivers. So yeah, that happened. Waiting for more updates so that we can keep contributing to our stupid bullshit!!
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Postby londonarbuckle (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 7:51 am

Frosthawk wrote:Wulfe and I just read through this entire fucking thread and had a drinking game going where we took turns reading this story aloud, and every time one of us either screwed up the exact pronunciation of what was written or cracked up laughing, we had to take a drink from our screwdrivers. So yeah, that happened. Waiting for more updates so that we can keep contributing to our stupid bullshit!!


I tried to get him to read this thread :seethe: :rant:
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Postby Wulfe (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 5:52 pm

londonarbuckle wrote:
I tried to get him to read this thread :seethe: :rant:


You didn't propose a drinking game though. :spoiler:
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Postby Momo (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 6:37 pm

And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

“Draco!” I cried. “R u okay?”

“I guess though.” Draco weeped.

The amount of casual wrist-slitting in this thing boggles the mind.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 6:39 pm

indeed
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Postby Factory Factory (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 7:39 pm

Why haven't their hands fallen off yet?
There is no guarantee that the wizard selling you that bag full of magic sand is wearing pants underneath his robes.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 7:54 pm

vampires
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Postby W.T. Fits (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 10:03 pm

Factory Factory wrote:Why haven't their hands fallen off yet?


They're doing it wrong. That or they're using exceptionally dull blades.
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Postby Yarma (?) » Thu Oct 22, 2015 10:06 pm

W.T. Fits wrote:
They're doing it wrong. That or they're using exceptionally dull blades.


Is the show from your avatar there any good BTW
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Postby W.T. Fits (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 12:17 am

Oreo Speedwagon wrote:Is the show from your avatar there any good BTW


Yes, it's been pretty good so far (3 episodes).
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 1:48 am

Image

You know what we need?

MORE CHARACTERS

AN: stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of I no itz mr. noris itz raven’s folt ok!11 u suk!1 no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1


"Shut the fuck up! Preps, stop flaming, okay!? If you don't like it, fuck off! I know it's Mr. Norris, it's Raven's fault, ok!? You suck! No just kidding Raven, you fucking rock! Preps suck!"

Well that's helpful for the mystery of the cat/man switch.

I think she fucked up again because the cat is Mrs. Norris.

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic.


You know what? Magic fucking suuuuucks

Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas.


Is... sleeping in leather comfortable?

Why are your PJs leather?

Then I gasped.

Standing in front of me where………………. B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!


Ah dang the whole goddamn squad is here, just standing, waiting for you to wake up!

I opened my crimson eyes. Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B’loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said ‘bich’ and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once.


One... two... three... four outifts. I want an apron that has bad words on it.

I guess Dracula and Diabolo are behind the others so Ebony can't see what they're wearing. Or maybe they're nude.

Darkness (who is Jenny) was there too.


Hello Jenny. I guess there are more people than she thought at first.

I could make a The Killers joke but then I'd be fired.

She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle.


I guess Crab and Goyle were wearing ripped gothic dresses with ripped stuff all over them and lace-up top things and black pointy boots. Or weaving them.

Crab and Goyle were basically Draco's co-bullies. You know how the tough bad guy kid always has a posse to further physically intimidate the protagonist? Crab and Goyle are that posse.

That's not what these characters are, though. This is another Hagrid/Cedric-type mistake.

It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle’s dad was a vampire.


Because they're listed as Diabolo's siblings, these are the rest of the Weasley kids. That would make Darkness Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister and Harry's eventual love interest. Crab and Goyle have been magnificently confused with Fred and George, Ron's older brothers and a pair of mischievous pranksters. Now they're all goffik vampires because...

He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor. He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.


Wow that's... quite the backstory. "and stuff" is so evocative. Like, yeah, whatever, the vampire guy raped his own children and uh who cares and then he died from suicide. Ugh I'm bored.

It's so irrelevant-sounding for something that should be really goddamn heavy. At least they weren't kidnapped at birth, I guess.

After all that I barely have anything to say about Stanism. Maybe it's that grunkle phase Kefka had a while back. That's Stanism. I've solved it.

“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”

“Enoby something is really fucked up.” Draco said.


I agree, Draco.

None of the other 8 characters in the room are relevant. Darkness, Crab, and Goyle never do anything in the story IIRC.

“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.

“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful.” Draco said in a sexy voice.


"Your PJs are completely identical to your normal outfits because everything you have is black leather/"

“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”

“I will I will.” he said.


Like all the conjugations of come without prepositions, missing the s in secretive and going deeper into typos caused... problems.

its a boner joke

So I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation. Then I came.


what did I just say about prepositions?! Christ can't you hold it in while there's nine other people in the room? Goyle's trying to finish these bad word aprons!

We all went outside the Great Hal and looked in from a widow.


Be nice to her, her husband just died. :fluttersmith:

A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us. She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her.


Britney is there just to be owned. I mentioned her waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in chapter... 8? I think??? She's Vampire's ex but don't imagine that to ever come up again. They will be rude to her every time though.

This is also the rare preppy she was wearing.

Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork. Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too.


So the Mystery/Misery of Magic are both typos on Ministry of Magic, which is basically the Wizard Government.

“THIS CANNOT BE!” she shouted angrily. “THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!”


She, here, being Dolores Umbridge, a member of the Ministry. Umbridge is not the kind of person to shout. She is a sweet old lady in pink outfits with a kitty cat plate collection. That's how she presents herself, as she's actually kind of a fucked up sadist who relishes in her authority.

In My Immortal she'll just yell. And yell. And yell.

“THE BARK LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!” yelled Cornelia Fudge.


Cornelius Fudge (that is his actual last name) is the head of the Ministry of Magic for most of Harry Potter. He was a relatively average man, and that wouldn't be a problem except during his tenure the Bark Lord Volsemort returned, and he proved rather bad at the job of handling that.

Here, he's also very yelly, and his name keeps getting misspelled. You'd think it'd be hard to improve on Fudge as a surname but you'd be shocked.

“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!” yelled Rumbridge. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!”


Dumbledore's memory problems are that he has too many from being so damn old and has to store them externally (via magic obv.).

At least Umbridge is giving him a chance to try again, despite the stakes.

“Very well.” Dumbledore said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort and she is in the school. And her name is…………………………………………………………………..Enony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.”

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B’loody Mary looked at each other………I gasped.


By the way Ebony's hijacked the prophecy and is now the most important person for unknowable reasons.

Unknowable reasons covers a lot of this story. Christ, we're only halfway through it?

Can I read HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH instead?

Image
Harry then did fly his meteor through space, punching astral vampires in half with his fists encased in fuckfire and throwing their ruined heads into the past where they bit cavemen on mars so that history changed and now there are vampire cavemen on mars.

I was wearing & kin: 32
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside
Oh my satans: 1
Fucks attempted: 6
Fucks failed: 5
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 2:21 am

Image
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 2:25 am

Angel Beat wrote:Image


yes I want that
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 2:40 am

:jingo:
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Postby Pocket (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 3:26 am

It's probably too late for anyone else to get in on the Great Voluntary Renamening at this point but I am adding "The Great Hal" to the list for next year.
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Postby Yarma (?) » Fri Oct 23, 2015 9:25 pm

I love thirty h

I still name weapons in skyrim and such fuckslayer

Uh so if Ginny is in dis story where is that Luna lady aren't there other characters?
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sun Oct 25, 2015 3:15 am

Image

We are halfway through My Immortal. Can you believe it?

AN: dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!1


10,000 comments on the story, basically. She's bragging about it yet telling the very commentators to stop making said comments.

Uh.

fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!


Apparently it took until chapter 23 for Tara to express the vaguest interest in the texts from which the films are adapted.

The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily. Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us.

“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Rumbridge shouted angrily.


It did not seem to help, as Rumbridge is still shouting.

And censoring herself by saying "beep".

And Tara forgot the s in Mrs. so she's calling Ebony Mr.

Last chapter they must've been eavesdropping, I guess.

Dumbledore blared at her.

“Oops she made a mistake!” he corrupted her. “She means hi everybody cum in!”

Well we all came in angrily.


See, prepositions. Is it that so hard? Now it doesn't look like everyone's ejaculating randomly, even though you misspell come and make it worse anyway.

So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B’loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo.


Ville Valo is the lead singer of H.I.M.

Image
In almost every interview someone asks what does HIM stand for. I can't even remember our latest lie about that. When Hanson was hot, we said it means Hanson Is Murder.

Like a lot of the bands Tara mentions, H.I.M. is extremely melodramatic. Valo does that quite on purpose. It's all very tongue-in-cheek or so I'm told. I guess you have to be when you're BFFs with Bam Margera.

The only other thing I have to note here is that this the only time this group ever comes up.

Well, that and thanks to his appearance on Jackass 2 I've seen more of Valo's penis than I have these other goffik lead singers.

I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup.


fuck you I still don't have any

Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was………Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.

“Vampire, Draco WTF?” I asked.

“You fucking bustard!” yelled Draco at Vampire. “I want to shit next to her!1”


That's... quite the thing to be arguing about.

Maybe it's like this:

Image

Except somehow more uncomfortable.

Bustard is an actual word. It refers to a type of bird.

Image

Despite being primarily terrestrial they can still fly. Fascinating stuff.

“No I do!” shouted.

“No she doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Draco.

“No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!” shouted Vampire


Boy this really is interesting isn't it, that our love triangle has descended into this. I hope it gets resolved soon (it won't).

Lave isn't being caught on chrome's spellcheck so it's actually a word.

GIS thinks it has something to do with lava.

Image
“Yeah it looks totlly hot.” said B’Loody Mary.

It's also an archaic word for bathing.

Vampire's getting special goffik baths I guess.

And then……………… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fight and beat up each other.


Well you've been teasing that part of the love triangle and use conjugations of come without prepositions (mostly) so and both these guys had their *ahem* wands out in public before so it's not the most ridiculous assumption.

Dumbldore yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden…… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick. He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe. All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry. Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent………………….Volzemort!


Oh good finally this story will move. Antagonist is here in the middle of Hogwarts.

“Eboby…..Ebony…….” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice.


I know that there's a new Star Wars film about to land and it's really exciting but this is a very strange crossover.

Image
I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Holy cow Darth Vader is an amazing villain. I mean, just look at this fucking entrance.



In a mostly white room with white-clad stormtroopers comes this guy in all black with ominous breathing sounds and tense orchestral stings. He is bad news from the word go, and this is without a single word spoken.

“Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!”

“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.

“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he flew away cackling.


And then he does nothing at all but reiterate the deal and leaves of his own accord.

My Immortal can make even Darth Vader not a good antagonist.

I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.


Oh yeah Ebony has prophecy powers I guess. I doubt their accuracy though as this involves Voldemort actually doing something he has had about 12 chances to do already.

“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.


And here's the beginning of adverbs becoming surreal. The strange adverbs counter at the bottom of posts was designed specifically to account for these. Random actions will now be done sexily or gofiikly or suicidally.

“Ebony Ebony aure you alright?” asked Draco in a worried voice.

“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.

“Everyfing’s all right Enoby.” said Vampire all sensetive.

“No its not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”


...Well that's an on-the-nose reference. I have not seen The Ring 2 (cursed vhs boogaloo) so I have no clue.

Don't you just love this dialogue between the pieces of this love triangle? God it's tense. You can just feel the competing passions and Ebony's own confused feelings. Fuck me.

“Its ok gurl.” said B’loody Mary. “Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though.”

“Ok bich.” I said sadly and den we went.


Buckle up because it's... still stupid, but stupid in even more ways. People argue this fanfic is a trollfic because it somehow keeps finding new ways to be moronic.

I was wearing & kin: 33
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily
Oh my satans: 1
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 6
Fucks failed: 5
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard
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Postby Angel Beat (?) » Sun Oct 25, 2015 3:31 am

Prepositions or propositions? :smirk:
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Avatar by Karzahnii, image used with permission.
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Postby SlateSlabrock (?) » Sun Oct 25, 2015 4:50 am

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:Lave isn't being caught on chrome's spellcheck so it's actually a word.

GIS thinks it has something to do with lava.

Image
Craaaash into meeee

Lave is also the name of the starting planet in the space game Elite, written in 1984 for the BBC Micro computer.

strange adverbs: kiss keenly;

I guess I missed this earlier, but can I just point out there was a character named "Keen Kiss" in the early '80s fantasy/robot anime "Aura Battler Dunbine"? It was a show with characters like "Shot Weapon" and "Marvel Frozen."

Japan doesn't really understand how Western names work, and especially not 30 years ago.
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Sun Oct 25, 2015 11:49 am

i laughed sexily
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Postby Yarma (?) » Sun Oct 25, 2015 4:40 pm

OK so ofs summed up the plot of Harry Potter in the why volsamort wants harry dead. But if ebony is also or the only person of prophecy here then why would he wanna not kill her as well?
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Sun Oct 25, 2015 4:53 pm

Oreo Speedwagon wrote:OK so ofs summed up the plot of Harry Potter in the why volsamort wants harry dead. But if ebony is also or the only person of prophecy here then why would he wanna not kill her as well?


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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:04 pm

Image

You know what this story needs? More characters!

AN: prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11 raven fagz 4 di help!


"Author's note: Preps, stop flaming the story! You're just jealous so fuck you, okay? Go to hell! Raven, homosexuals for the help!"

Well we had Deviation next so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.


Gurl if you need a class to tell you how to be a deviant then there ain't no hope of nonconformation for you.

Given the context of Enoby having visions, this must be Sybill Trelawney. She is the eccentric Divination teacher at Hogwarts. She gave the prophecy which entwined Harry's life with Voldemort and- well a lot of this shit is completely irrelevant because My Immortal so let's just skip it.

“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese. She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She’s da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hr mom woz a vampire. She’s also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing.


If... you can't tell, something's gone off somehow. Now Trelawney is now the token goffik teacher.

The name Sinister might just be one of those goffik things like Harry going by Vampire, since the characters use the two rather interchangably, but it might also mean Tara's confused Trelawney with the Astronomy professor Aurora Sinistra. That is only relevant in the context of My Immortal being deeply, soul-crushingly confusing. Professor Sinister is a good name for an antagonist, though it kind of sounds like an off-brand Doctor Doom.

she n b’loody mry get along grate)


This isn't set-up for anything, this is just contradicting canon material more. Hermione thought that Divination was bunk and was so upset at wasting time in the class that she obtained a time machine to take a different class instead.

I love how delightfully whimsical that sentence reads.

She’s really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong.


What a strange classroom to have preachers delivering sermons on a muscular lass.

Image
Then, the train stopped and Draco and Eternity had to separate.

Or maybe they preach for this - I guess - Thomas the Train Engine story that I found by GISing the phrase? Incidentally for a caption I had to borrow one from Raven's fanfic I'm Not Okay since My Immortal does not ever acknowledge the Hogwarts Express.

"Draco and eternity had to seperate" is such a melodramatic line holy fuck.

Incidentally I'm Not Okay has this line.

In her misery, she took her iPod out of her Emily the Strange bag and blared on some My Chemical Romance (A/N: Don't they rock?).


Okay that explains a bit. I'll let Wikipedia explain in the extremely clinical image caption.

Image
The Emily the Strange franchise has a considerable merchandising catalog, including clothing, stationery, stickers and fashion accessories. All of the products feature Emily's distinctive appearance and frequently feature one of her cynical sayings such as "Get Lost," "Be All You Can't Be," or "Wish You Weren't Here".

Though why we need multiple people to preach for this in the middle of Deviation class is beyond me.

Oh, right. My Immortal.

I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it.

“What is it Ebony?” she asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Hot Topik?”

“Yeah.” I answered. All the preps who didn’t know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger.


Professor Sinister is not very professional.

“Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”

“Ho about now?” she asked.

“OK.” I said.

“OK class fucking dismissed every1.” Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go.


Professor Sinister is amazingly not very professional. She just cusses while dismissing class on a whim.

“Except for you Britney.” she pointed at Britney and sum other preps. “Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3.”


And she owns random students while making shitty puns.

I think I despise her. I wish I had a time machine so I could've started a different fanfic.

“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Draco gong 2 die.


It strikes me as odd how after such a campaign to defend Ebony as not a Mary Sue, it turns out she has incredible subconscious divination powers. Seems kind of counterproductive.

Well she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

“What do you c?” she asked.

“I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram.”


"well that's fucking useless and tells me nothing as that's all we ever look at anyway"

can black skulls be not gothic?

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.


I guess Draco and Vampire's fight was pretty rough since he's in an entirely different outfit.

“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Proffesor Sinister.

“Bye bitch.” I said waving.


this is dialogue real people who are friends would use

I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.


Come one, come all! Step right up and view the amazing goffik lass and her incomprehensible story! This is a once in a lifetime experience!

I was wearing & kin: 35
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily
Oh my satans: 1
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 6
Fucks failed: 5
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard
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Postby Space Ghost (?) » Tue Oct 27, 2015 6:33 pm

that dialogue
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Tue Oct 27, 2015 7:06 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:homosexuals for the help!


Can I just correct this. I believe Tara was offering Raven cigarettes in exchange for di help
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Postby Orange Fluffy Sheep (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 4:50 pm

Image

Darth Valer has reaffirmed the ultimatum and Ebony has had prophetic visions that indicate he'll actually act on the terms! What will she do!? fuck her bf obviously

N: stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111 FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1


"Stop flaming, ok? If you don't, then I'll tell Justin to beat you up! And I'll tell all the nerds to put viruses in your computer! FUCK YOU! Raven, thanks for the help!"

Oh so Justin does come up again, as an empty threat. And there's an emptier threat of cyber warfare.

I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Draco’s black car.

“Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say.” whispered Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.


*leans in close, seductively whispering* "what the fuck did the teacher say"

Erotic as hell.

“She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice.


Can grumbling be sexy? How is this dialogue anything but a mood-killer?

He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to fly the car into a tree.


When I said this fanfic was 44 chapters, I lied. It's 25 and this is the end, as they OD on heroin and crash into a tree. RIP ebony and draco .

Image
REST IN PIECES
EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY
1989-2006
"Why couldn’t Satan have made me less beautiful? Im good at too many things! WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT’S A FUCKING CURSE!” - Eboby

and her bf again I guess

We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR.

“And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me.” sang Gerard’s sexy voice.


Actually know they've just parked in the top of a tree so no one can interrupt them this time.

The song in question is Ghost of You, and since there's no disclaimer about not owning the lyrics I guess Tara somehow has the rights to an MCR song.

We started tiling of each other’s cloves fevently.


It must be a very large tree to have a co-op farming project.

Image
My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld. (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111)

That caption is a line from chapter 33 so you have quite the grace period to figure that out. Even then it's just fuck you instead of getting the fuck out so you'll just have to be a bit miffed.

ACTUALLY:

He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then……………………… he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.


IT'S SEX.

I have exhausted my entire library of jokes w/r/t Ebony having dude parts and this has hit and it's like, fuck I give up. There's a typo with bra up there. Make up something to go with it.

We stated frenching passively. Suddenly………… I fell asleep.


Wow Draco you must be bad in bed. Maybe you should've frenched actively!

I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair.

“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.


Ebony's power of prophecy continues to be improbably precise if not a bit racist. That it's a black guy specifically next to two goffik guys says

things.

“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.

“Ebony what’s wrong?” Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile.


Did we call them mobiles in 2006? I don't even remember anymore. Wasn't Vampire with you at the end of the last chapter? Did you just ditch him, do heroin, fly into a tree, tend to your crops, then attempt to bone only for Draco's weak-ass game to put her to sleep?

Is this a literal description of events?

Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where……………………… Lucian and Serious!111


Draco's father & Vampire's dogfather, respectively. You are now entering... tha dead dad zone...

I was wearing & kin: 35
strange adverbs: kiss keenly; kiss passively; cry wisely; shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly; nodded ENREGeticALLlY; sacredly I hopped inside; screamed sexily; frenching passively
Oh my satans: 1
Windows broken: 1
Fucks attempted: 7
Fucks failed: 6
Unforgivable Curses: 4
great band names: Volsemort and Da Death Dealers; Fug and the Mystery of Magic
Sicknasty burns: ludacris fools; mediocre dunces; ridiculous nitwits; stupid preppy fucker; dude-ur-so-retarded look; mean old man; horny simpletons; dispicable snobs; despicable preps; moronic idiots; fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich; fucking bustard
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Postby Pocket (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 7:59 pm

Orange Fluffy Sheep wrote:Did we call them mobiles in 2006? I don't even remember anymore.

I was under the impression that was just a UK thing. Which would make this the first appearance of anything resembling British culture in this story about a school in rural Scotland, which admittedly is still more than can be said for a surprising number of Harry Potter fanfics.
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Postby In West Fillydelphia (?) » Thu Oct 29, 2015 8:30 pm

Do we know that Tara's American? It could be that she's British.

Edit: huh, the internet says she's from Connecticut.

Edit: a page topper

better say something smart


...


...


... :pinkieshrug:
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